Suicide- Life's Bitter Expression

By : Sharon Supriya

Are you going through the difficult phase of depression, rejection, fear, and failure? Are you trying to end your life with the banner, "I am unwanted"? Have you thought of SUICIDE ever? Then read an exclusive report of suicide that includes an interview with the Bangalore based suicide help line called 'Sahai' volunteer Teresa.

A number of suicide help lines have emerged to lend a helping ear in recent years in India. One of them is Bangalore based suicide help line 'Sahai', a project of Medico-Pastoral Association. An honorary volunteer Teresa opens up her view and fate of the people who try to attempt suicide. A self-retired middle-aged woman begins the conversation, " I enjoy this line more than my nursing. I have the opportunity to make a difference in some ones life".

When asked about the most memorable case ever Teresa recollects, " It is about a boy called Rahul (name changed with request) who fled from his college to find refugee in ISKCON after attempting suicide twice. Well! The story begins thus he had a relationship with a guy from his college. When the secret was disclosed in college he wished to die of shame. I believe the death had not called for him yet. His friend called Sahai and gave his number. He asked me to help him. When I rang back, I heard a chirpy kids voice who was desperate for help. He came to meet me personally from the other end of Bangalore to share his story. He needed a helping ear, when he found one he poured out his heart. After some days of counseling he went back to his native to complete his education. That day he wrote this letter to me which I carry wherever I go". She handed the delicate letter, which read:

"Dear mom (Teresa)
I am going back to complete my education and to be the best person on earth. Thanks a lot! I will never forget you mom"

The letter had just few words but had described his whole renewed life. He wanted to live a new life of difference in the same college where he would be put to shame every second. This is courage.

In Bangalore city, every year nearly 1500-1800 people commit suicide with an estimated 20,000 hospitalizations. Sahai helpline works only from Monaday to Friday on specifc times from 10am - 1 pm and 2pm - 5pm. The calls that come after these hours are recorded and called back by the volunteers next day. Sahai trains atleast 30- 45 new volunteer almost every 4 months, only one or two remain for 6 months or a year. The help is not stretched although the calls that keep ringing here have come from other states too. The law ones showed its rage by arresting people who wished to suicide but the law undermines to help those people who desperately seek for help.

Children of the age 9-18 desperately call suicide helplines. A couple of students commit suicde every year during the peak days of examination in every metropolitan cities. The stress, confusion and pressure lead them to something unknown but for the moment it is the need of the hour.

Teresa says, a girl of 6th std called Sahai and said " I am worried, I want to commit suicide". The girl who hasn't seen anything in life called trauma or distress want to quit life as it seems a great challange to survive. This happens when parents compare their children with superior students who have done extremely well and try to persuade their children to reach those heights. The act may be motivative to some but; it leaves an inferiority complex to many. Parents fail to realise that every being has his/ her own level of understanding. The seemingly high pressure will lead them to quit the game of life in utter shame. Parents celebrate successes, but fail to tell children how to take failures and losses in their stride

Interesting Facts

• World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that about one million people commit suicide each year
• It is the eight leading cause of death for all the US men and the third leading cause of death among young people aged 15-24.
• Its rate increases with age and is reported very high among 65 years and older people.
• "Sahai," a suicide prevention helpline project of Medico-Pastoral Association, a voluntary organisation working in the field of mental health, gets maximum calls from students during the Board exams of X th and XII th.
Men are four times more likely to die from suicide than women. However women report attempting suicide during their lifetime about three times as often as men. The stronger sex has designated to be the victim of failure. If you would like to help the distressed then read the protective factors.

• Distressed need a heeding ear, try to smile and encourage the near and dear ones who have gestured to attempt suicide.
• With a little support from parents and the right counselling about the opportunities available to them, students can be prevented from taking the extreme step, say counselors.
• People who try to attempt suicide need emotional support. If you could provide one you will be their angel for life.
• Try being a part of the suicide help lines to stretch help. They just need four hours of your time in a week.

To end with read an extract of my friend's life. This is especially for the one who thinks life is a waste and it has to be ended.

"I sneaked into the dark blanket and wished nobody ever would find me. I was ashamed of my failure. The whole world looked like a war zone and I was the only victim. My eyes were red; I rolled on the wet bed. I was wrong. I had no forgiveness. The thought of suicide struck me, but I didn't have the courage to knock the death door. In the mixed perplexed feeling my Father uncovered me. He could sense my deepest fear. He touched and said, "Your are a failure and you are responsible for all your fate, but I also believe you are the brightest shining star ever. Would you like to bring my faith into a reality?" I held his stretched arm and asked "Are you with me?" He answered, "I am till eternity" The sense of a partner walking with me in the dreary desert paved a path to success. People look up to me today and say, "She can live in the dreary dessert". Yes she can and so can you.

According to Phil Donahue, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, so do not succumb to something that is inevitable. Walk the dreary path you never know your desired goal may be just two steps ahead.

(first published in living.oneindia.in)