Help Wipe Away The Hidden Fears - Child Sexual Abuse
By : Sharon Supriya
After my parents left he latched the door and darkened the room. He then started licking my neck, whenever I licked the lollypop, when I would cry or say no he would tickle and make me laugh. He pressed my lips on his chest. His body smelled like a dead foul, I was trapped, I could not move. I just closed my eyes as I knew I was helpless, and prayed that when I opened it was just a dream and I would be back in my mother's arm.Just then, I heard the knock on the door and the sweet voice that cried 'Dolly.... ma and pa are back'. The ghostly bear carried me gently in his arms to present me to my parents. I did not tell them any thing. I don't know why. However I made a point to hurt myself whenever my parents thought of keeping me with him even for a second. Years rolled by, I am 22 today and far away from that savage creature but till date he still chases me in my dreams and makes me cry. "It's a true story of one of my best friends, Dolly. In 2003, approximately 906,000 children were victims and an estimated 1,500 children died of abuse or neglect. Your child may be a victim too. Read to know the physical and emotional signs of abused child its preventions and healing.
Signs of sexual abusePrevention is better than cure. So try protecting your child than making an attempt to heal him/her later. Children need their parent's guidance and protection till they understand the difference between good and bad as well as the complete knowledge about body. If the child has gone through child abuse he/she may not tell due to fear or bashfulness. It's the duty of the parents to check on their each and every move to know if they are suffering from any emotional, physical or behavioral changes. Some of them are listed below.
Affectionless or overly affectionate.
Nightmares, bedwetting or phobias
Gets irritated for no reason
Clings to you all the time due to fear for relationships.
Withdrawing from any games and spending time alone.
Behavioural :
"I am the finest doll of my parents, with chubby cheeks, rosy lips, curly hair, just as the nursery poem. I was just 5 years old when my doll figured body, made a beast hungry. The hungry beast pounced on
me to fulfill his dirty desire. It was the usual night with the same twinkling stars, bright moon and soft breeze. But, that night made me fear darkness to such an extent that for years I screamed when the lights were turned off even for a second.That night my mom and dad had to go out to for some work, so they decide that they will leave me in my neighbor's house for two hours. I didn't like the guy's look for he had a weird smile and a fat belly. As my mom placed me in his arms I squealed and said I will join them. They didn't listen. The beast bribed me for a lollypop. I took it, gave a smile and waved to my parents to get locked inside the concealed fear for years.
me to fulfill his dirty desire. It was the usual night with the same twinkling stars, bright moon and soft breeze. But, that night made me fear darkness to such an extent that for years I screamed when the lights were turned off even for a second.That night my mom and dad had to go out to for some work, so they decide that they will leave me in my neighbor's house for two hours. I didn't like the guy's look for he had a weird smile and a fat belly. As my mom placed me in his arms I squealed and said I will join them. They didn't listen. The beast bribed me for a lollypop. I took it, gave a smile and waved to my parents to get locked inside the concealed fear for years. After my parents left he latched the door and darkened the room. He then started licking my neck, whenever I licked the lollypop, when I would cry or say no he would tickle and make me laugh. He pressed my lips on his chest. His body smelled like a dead foul, I was trapped, I could not move. I just closed my eyes as I knew I was helpless, and prayed that when I opened it was just a dream and I would be back in my mother's arm.Just then, I heard the knock on the door and the sweet voice that cried 'Dolly.... ma and pa are back'. The ghostly bear carried me gently in his arms to present me to my parents. I did not tell them any thing. I don't know why. However I made a point to hurt myself whenever my parents thought of keeping me with him even for a second. Years rolled by, I am 22 today and far away from that savage creature but till date he still chases me in my dreams and makes me cry. "It's a true story of one of my best friends, Dolly. In 2003, approximately 906,000 children were victims and an estimated 1,500 children died of abuse or neglect. Your child may be a victim too. Read to know the physical and emotional signs of abused child its preventions and healing.
Signs of sexual abusePrevention is better than cure. So try protecting your child than making an attempt to heal him/her later. Children need their parent's guidance and protection till they understand the difference between good and bad as well as the complete knowledge about body. If the child has gone through child abuse he/she may not tell due to fear or bashfulness. It's the duty of the parents to check on their each and every move to know if they are suffering from any emotional, physical or behavioral changes. Some of them are listed below.
Physical:
Stomach aches, vomiting or headaches.
Difficulty in walking or sitting.
Stained or bloody underclothing
Anal, oral or genital venereal diseases
Pain, swelling or itching in genital area.
Difficulty in walking or sitting.
Stained or bloody underclothing
Anal, oral or genital venereal diseases
Pain, swelling or itching in genital area.
Emotional :
Aggressive or hyperactive
Affectionless or overly affectionate.
Nightmares, bedwetting or phobias
Gets irritated for no reason
Clings to you all the time due to fear for relationships.
Withdrawing from any games and spending time alone.
Behavioural :
Unusual sexual behaviour or knowledge of any sexual practices.
Change in eating or sleeping habits.
Compulsive behaviour like urge to repetitive bathing.
Depression or suicidal thoughts.
Change in eating or sleeping habits.
Compulsive behaviour like urge to repetitive bathing.
Depression or suicidal thoughts.
Avoidance of undressing or wearing extra layers of clothes.
However, remember that these characteristics may not necessarily indicate child sexual abuse. In case of abuse, these behaviors may overlap and may be seen in excess for a particular period only.Heal your child Do not over react after realizing the hard-core fact. Prompt the child to answer all the queries without making them feel insecure. Inspire your child to live without fear. Assure that you are with them in all the circumstances. Tell them that you believe them and understand their emotions. Be his/her friend more than a parent at that moment. Remember that this is the time that they would like to share their deepest feelings with someone. Make sure that the someone will be you!Do not separate them from the society, but give them courage to face the society with their heads held high. Report the abuse to the police than covering it up. The culprit should be punished so that he/ she will not be able to shatter some other innocent life. Help them to love and worship their own body and tell them they are not at fault.
For the children
Life is like a roller coaster ride if you're on the downhill today you will be on the top some other day. Do not succumb to defeat but rise to conquer newer heights. Do not conceal your fears and pain. The more you lock it inside the more you will suffer. Explode it, for you are not at fault. Commune those piercing thoughts to your parents or friends who can be of help. Do not step back to ask for help from the psychiatrists. Survive, with the odds. It's your life do not let the beast shape it. Mould it into a beautiful piece for the world to admire.
(First published in living.oneindia.in.)
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